Secret Admirer
by Laura Scofield
Summary: Written for the BMT Valentine's fic challenge. Tayend is fustrated by Velend's determined pursual of him, and struggles to keep his own desire for Lord Dannyl a secret. Set during The Novice.


_I wrote this for the BMT Valentine's fic challenge! Technically it was a fic I had written over a year ago, but I edited it, and decided to post it :D  
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**Secret Admirer**

_(Set during the Novice, after Dannyl and Tayend return to Capia after their visits to Lonmar and Vin.)_

_This man,_ Tayend thought wearily to himself, _does not give up. _His irritation had been sparked by yet another visit from Velend to the Great Library. For the past few weeks, Velend had appeared nearly every day. He claimed to enjoy the peaceful solitude which the library offered, but Tayend didn't fall for this excuse. It was painfully obvious to him that the man only came for one reason - _to see_ _him._

As Velend pretended to search the shelves for a book, Tayend was well aware of the man's gaze fixed on him whenever he thought that the scholar wasn't watching. Although no stranger to being inspected by amorous men, Tayend felt distinctly uncomfortable with Velend's long penetrating stares.

Velend wasn't bad-looking, Tayend had to admit. He was tall, dark haired and very well built. Although more muscled than Tayend would personally prefer. The man dedicated most of his time to his arduous training sessions, something he was evidently very proud of. He often brought it up in conversation, as if hoping Tayend would be impressed by his bulging muscles, or his enthusiasm for such a physical activity. Tayend wondered if Velend was attempting to excite him by eagerly telling him of his latest combat victory, or by giving him images in his head of sweaty men contending for dominance in a sword fight. Perhaps he hoped that after hearing vivid details of intense sword fights, Tayend would be keen to participate in _other_ intense physical activities.

But right now, Tayend wasn't interested in having a meaningless affair with anybody. It was unfortunate that Velend had taken such a firm interest in him, ever since Tayend had accompanied him to Bel Arralade's party. Velend had tried to hide his delight at having the scholar's company, but Tayend perceived it nevertheless. Since then, Velend had only grown more fascinated by the young man. Tayend's lack of enthusiasm only seemed to make his admirer even more determined to win him over. He was an incredibly stubborn man, who clearly wasn't used to rejection. He even seemed to enjoy the challenge of securing Tayend.

This all wouldn't have been quite so bad if Tayend could admit he was already pursuing another, and so had no interest in getting involved with anyone else. The object of Tayend's affections, Lord Dannyl, didn't even know of the scholar's attraction, and perhaps it was better that he never discovered the truth. The devastating reality of it was that so long as Tayend remained in love with the magician, he could never bring himself to be close to another. No other man could even come close to making Tayend feel for them what he already felt for Dannyl. None of his admirers had ever treated Tayend with as much respect and consideration: their intentions were usually purely carnal. It was for this reason that Tayend had recently begun to refuse all of their desirous advances. _Dannyl truly is the man of my dreams,_ Tayend sighed wistfully to himself, before he winced at how melodramatic it sounded.

Velend definitely wasn't the type of man that Tayend found appealing. Sometimes, Tayend felt as if he was one of the few lads who actually wanted a proper relationship, and not just interested in the physical aspect. Most of the lads Tayend was acquainted with were eager to experiment with as many lovers as possible. It seemed their primary concern was bedding someone to satisfy their endless craving for gratification. Tayend knew few lads of his age who were in a steady relationship, and who, like him, yearned for depth and meaning in a relationship.

As a result, Velend's enduring pursuit really irritated Tayend. The only thing worse than Velend spying on him from behind the shelves, was when he attempted to strike up a conversation with the scholar. It was obvious that they hadn't a lot in common, but this didn't deter Velend. His eyes frequently wandered all over Tayend's body in the middle of a discussion. This made Tayend feel acutely uncomfortable. _At least the type of clothes I wear for work in the library are not as tightly fitted as my court outfits, _Tayend often mused with satisfaction.

Velend's attempts at flirting were dismally unsubtle. He sometimes complimented Tayend on his choice of clothes, thus allowing Velend the opportunity to emphasise how well they suited the scholar's fine body. As he would say this, his gaze would have an excuse to linger on certain parts of Tayend's body. Tayend couldn't help but inwardly squirm at this blatant behaviour; he knew all too well that what was going through the other man's mind. Velend seemed to enjoy the scholar's distress and embarrassment. Perhaps he mistook Tayend's coyness as a sign of affection, because it only seemed to encourage Velend's efforts.

Velend would often sit down right next to Tayend at one of the long study tables; much closer than Tayend was comfortable with. Once he had casually rested his hand on Tayend's leg. In the pretence of asking what material his trousers were made from, he slowly stroked his fingers up and down the scholar's thigh. It had taken all of Tayend's self control not to immediately leap out of his seat and run as far away from Velend as possible, or to at least reward him with a hard slap in the face. But he could tell that if he _did_ jump up suddenly, Velend would no doubt automatically grab him back, which could prove to be even more awkward.

Of course, Tayend had a considerable number of men interested in him. But few had been quite as persistent as Velend. Tayend had been rather affronted to discover that certain men placed bets on who could succeed in luring him into bed. _Although,_ Tayend thought wryly, _I doubt very much that they'd think a bed would be necessary._

Hardly anything was a secret in Capia, and it was known among many lads that Tayend was careful about who he slept with. This apparently made the scholar come across as more appealing; seeing that he was such a challenge. It also didn't hurt that he was considered extremely attractive. Tayend himself was aware that he was handsome, but he often wished he could be distinguished for his knowledge or intelligence instead of his appearance. He wouldn't pretend he didn't relish a certain amount of attention and flirtation, who didn't? But at times he felt sick of men thinking they could use him for their own pleasure and then carelessly discard him.

Velend's perusal was a constant nuisance. He frequently requested that Tayend give him a tour of the library. However, Velend's motive was obviously to be alone with the scholar in a secluded part of the library. Perhaps he believed that Tayend would be more willing to participate in intimate acts if they had less chance of being caught. Velend must think that Tayend was deliberately playing hard to get, and simply being a tease. He no doubt believed that Tayend would _eventually_ surrender himself to him.

Whenever Ambassador Dannyl came to visit Tayend, as part of their research into ancient magic, the scholar could sense a distinct jealousy from his admirer. He didn't dare interrupt his work with the magician; instead he seemed to wait impatiently for him to leave. If Velend was still around once Dannyl left, he would immediately make his way over to Tayend to get his attention. He made his contempt for the magician very clear (although this hatred was only because Dannyl spent so much time with Tayend). Tayend had to be ever wary, and not make his own admiration for Dannyl evident, even though most of Velend's unfair comments enraged Tayend. He called the magician haughty and full of his own importance, which was far from the truth.

Tayend found that he wasn't able to relax properly when working in the Library with Dannyl, with Velend prowling around or glaring at them from the other side of the room. Tayend longed to suggest to the magician that they should work in their private study room all the time, but this might arouse suspicion from Velend. Tayend needed to avoid this at all costs - no one could ever know of his secret desire for Dannyl. If Velend _did_ find out, then the results could be disastrous for both Tayend _and_ Dannyl. The scholar couldn't bear to contemplate that his affection for the man could put his reputation and position in trouble. Tayend cared too much for the magician to risk ruining his life because of his own passionate attractions for him.

Tayend tried so hard to interpret Dannyl's feelings for him. The young man couldn't help but feel quite certain that Dannyl was a lad, although perhaps this was just wishful thinking. But Dannyl had never specifically _denied_ the rumours, at least not to Tayend anyway. The scholar's belief was that as a result of his horrendous treatment as a novice, Dannyl had started concealing his feelings for men. He was probably terrified of accepting his inclinations, as it would mean living a secret life without the Guild's knowledge. And if the Guild ever _did_ discover his desires, the consequences could be severe. Maybe it was simply too dangerous for Dannyl to give into his feelings…

_Even if Ambassador Dannyl _is_ a lad, and willing to risk entering a relationship with another man, what are the chances that he would fall for me? _Tayend felt frustratingly unsure of Dannyl's sentiments. They often bantered playfully with each other, in a way that if Tayend had been speaking in the same manner to another man, he would call it flirting. But perhaps the older man was simply very friendly. He was a man who didn't have a lot of friends, but he was rather close to the few he _did_ have, and trusted them deeply. Maybe it was _Tayend_ who encouraged their conversations to become so spirited. But Dannyl was never uncomfortable with their playful chats, he would respond equally mischievous and mirthful.

_And the way he smiles at me_… Tayend's heart began to flutter wildly at the mere thought of it. The young man had _never_ seen the magician look the same way at someone else. His eyes would sparkle intently, and Tayend truly believed that those captivating dark eyes were looking at him with genuine tenderness. However, the magician only smiled at Tayend in this way when the two of them were in private. This allowed the scholar to kindle his hopes that Dannyl, whether he fully acknowledged it or not, felt an attachment to him.

At night, as he sprawled restlessly on his bed, his mind became overwrought with conflicting emotions. He often indulged in passionate fantasies involving Lord Dannyl. Tayend would at first gently, and then more ardently kiss Dannyl's surprisingly soft lips. His hands would reach up to tangle themselves in the magician's thick chestnut coloured hair, eagerly pulling his head down to Tayend's own. Later he'd explore Dannyl's lean chest through the material of his robes, relishing his warmth even through the fabric. The older man would protectively wrap his arms around the scholar, much to his delight, and lean in to whisper endearments softly in Tayend's ear. This would lead them to embrace even more intimately…

However in the harsh light of day, the scholar was unable to let his imagination get so carried away with such overly sentimental and unrealistic visions. It was only when he closed his eyes at night, and forgot about the cold realities of life, that his mind was blissfully filled with himself and his beloved Lord Dannyl.

But for now, Tayend needed to focus on other more pressing matters. He was determined to make it clear to Velend that he had no intention whatsoever of relinquishing his body for a bit of lustful pleasure. _And the sooner that stubborn man comprehends that fact, the better._

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_I know Tayend seems overly innocent in this fic, but keep in mind I wrote most of it a year ago :P Having said that, hopefully it shows a different side to Tayend from most my other fics :) _

_Please review and let me know what you think! _


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